![]() Why can’t losing weight work like that in real life? “Another!”Ī match begins with players occupying a castle with minimal defenses as a Villager, the starting character class. The royal behemoth requires a steady influx of cakes or the effects will begin to wear off. Instead of one or two enemy soldiers being able to whisk off your princess, it will now require a whole group of them to heft the heavy heifer painstakingly back to their base. Force feeding her will sooner or later make her to inflate like a dirigible and the fatter she gets, the harder it will be for the opposing team to carry her back to their dungeon. To fix that problem, and to seal their diagnosis of type VII “diabeetuhs” for the rest of their lives, players can have their soldiers carry slices of cake scattered throughout the wilderness and deliver the sweets to the salivating orifices of their resident princess. The damsels about to be in distress have the figures of anorexic Disney princesses. Standard gameplay is divided between a red team and a blue team with goal of the game to take back your princess from the opposing team’s dungeon, hoist her on the makeshift palanquin of your soldier’s shoulders and carry her back to the throne room in your own castle and then keep her there to win the match.Īt first, this is incredibly easy. Now both fat princesses dwell in the dungeons of the enemy castle, and only a contest between the kings’ armies will show which princess in plight will be rescued first. Thus in the cover of night, the red king has his soldiers invade the blue king’s castle and kidnap the princess there.īut upon waking the next morning, he finds that his own daughter has been kidnapped as well. Unfortunately, the other king receives the same message and has the same idea. ![]() The king believes that should his daughter marry the prince, then the kiss of true love will dispel the curse of the cake and the princess will return to normal. They’ve become Black Forest hams! The kings are able to bring their daughters back to their castles, but they realize that the princesses now have insatiable appetites and all they wish to eat is the cursed cake of the forest.īut a glimmer of hope arrives when the red king receives a message that Prince Albert is coming to the kingdom to seek a bride. When their fathers, the kings, send out search parties to look for them, they find the princesses morbidly obese. Unable to resist the allure of the desert, they gorge themselves. Once upon a time, two princesses were playing in the Black Forest and they discover a giant slice of cake growing out of the ground. It plays out as a massive round of capture the flag, capable of supporting up to 32 players with online play and local co-op multiplayer. Fat Princess is an action RTS developed by Titan Studios and released on the PlayStation 3. If you’re not offended by fat jokes, this game’s central concept is absolutely hilarious. Not since the inception of Ronald McDonald has morbid obesity been this fun. “Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going!”
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